For most couples, from the first month up to the first year can be the most difficult of their marriage.

This is not necessarily a bad thing as marriage naturally comes with so many changes that even the most diligent marriage preparation and counselling may not necessarily prepare you for everything.

We have come to discover, however, that no matter how long you were engaged to someone, or how long you dated for, these three things still have the potential of surprising you.

The real extent of interdependence

One of the biggest changes that marriage brings is the melding of lives

This is not news to many of us [if that’s news to you, maybe you are just not old enough to be reading this article.]

As much as we have an idea of it though, when some people actually experience the extent to which theirs and their spouse’s lives became twined, they were indeed shocked, TBH. [They never experrerit]

One moment you’ll be Miss Independent doing your own thing, before you know it, you’re Mrs. Dependent , asking if every of your move will not be inconvenient for your spouse.

Knowing about it might not be enough to handle this experience, really, but best be prepared for it nonetheless.

Managing expectations

People go into marriages with a host of expectations, built consciously or unconsciously over the years.

What you might quickly learn in marriage is that, preparing for it is not the same as actually living

it, experiencing it.

That’s why although many guys dated their girlfriends for long, and developed an idea of all what she needs from them to make the relationship work, they are still unprepared for the level of responsibilities that come with actual marriage.

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Same thing goes for ladies, you already heard about what your husband’s family might demand of you, and you’ve heard several things about how some mothers-in-law could be terrible and all, and you prepared yourself to handle whatever is thrown at you.

I’m sorry to be the carrier of bad news, but what might be thrown at you might just be bigger than what you envisaged.

Lifestyle differences

Subconsciously, people often imagine a perfect marriage as one which works smoothly like synchronized swimming – you move he moves, you move he moves.

They often think that the spouses’ lives are so in sync that it’s hard to think of one without the other.

Now, this may be the case after a long time of being married, but newlyweds can’t expect to be walking in step from day one!

Forget that you guys dated for quite a while, marriage, as they keep telling me, is a different ball game entirely, and you might likely experience a part of your spouse you never saw all along while you were dating.

Anyway, love is about compromises and you can surely learn to co-habitate with little adjustments here and there.

You’ll be fine, guys. Love always prevails!

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